- I will fall asleep after I eat, almost every time at first.
- My body doesn’t know how to digest, so my tummy bloats up to the size of a pregnant woman’s. This is probably going to last for months.
- I will also probably put on a lot of water weight when I first begin the re-feeding process. Like a noticeable amount. I’ll probably be really upset about it. I need to keep eating to get past this stage, if I’m having trouble please remind me of that.
- If I gain weight, don’t point it out. It is what my body needs to reach full health. When I point it out, remind me how much happier and healthier and full of life I am. Those are the things that matter.
- Extreme hunger is real. My body needs a huge amount of calories to repair itself inside and out and still allow me to function daily.
- Because of extreme hunger, I’ll need to eat more than you could possibly imagine, don’t comment on it unless I say it’s ok to.
- I’ll cry a lot, especially once my full range of emotions returns. I’ll cry when I’m hungry, I’ll cry when I eat, I’ll cry when I’m full.
- Fear foods make no sense. I could be afraid of eating an apple whole but be ok with eating it cut up. I could be afraid of a banana but be ok with eating McDonald’s. Don’t try to figure it out, just help me try to conquer my fear foods!
- If I tell you I’m having trouble eating, a lot of the time just telling me “It’s ok, you can eat.” will do a whole lot more good than some long extended rant about how I need to eat or I’ll die or anything like that. Permission is a big thing when my mind is telling me I’m not allowed to eat, hearing someone tell me I am allowed helps.
- I’m gonna mess up. I’m going to fall and need help getting back up. Don’t hold it against me or blame me, that only makes it worse. Ask me how you can help me get back on my feet!
- Recovery is a long process full of ups and downs, your support means the world to me no matter what point I’m at.
why touch her hair though? Dammit…
Reason number 45-60754280865’11B I won’t go on a mission trip.
I am soooo done
Mission trips make me sick
This baby girl is being treated like a tourist attraction or a wild animal and I am not here for this. This picture says so much about the owner of that white hand.
This photo makes me feel so uncomfortable
this photo makes me fucking angry.
and a mission trip? .. yeah, aka colonialism.
Get OUT of our countries with this fucking bullshit, honestly. Missionaries are already fucking so much up in African countries. As a gay Nigerian I LIVE the repercussions of this daily. I’ve been exorcised, had bibles thrown at me, been sent to priests for a “cure”, been given spiritual baths which burn my skin to “wash the devil out of me” you name it. Done by my own family and people at the behest of “our Lord and Savior”. It’s traumatic, and especially hurtful when we understand that general acceptance of same sex love and eroticism and more nuanced, varied understandings of gender were the norm PRIOR to colonization and missionary activity.
And then we have pictures like this to remind us of the OTHER bullshit these missionary fuckers do. They roll up in our countries as “white saviors” and are constantly doing racist bullshit like this. Objectifying us, casting us as “primitive” and in need of being saved from ourselves and our “heathen” ways. Let’s not even start on the rampant sexual abuses priests committed against Africans across the continent. The ways in which they destroyed and suppressed our cultures. Made us hate ourselves to the point that today we call our own grandfathers and grandmothers with traditional beliefs “despicable heathens” and Satanists. Where they have so warped our cultures, identities and understanding of self, to fit THEIR white colonial mold.
We forget that missionaries came as colonizers first and foremost, and in many cases caused far more egregious and long lasting damage than the colonial administrators themselves. And they are still doing it today. Look at the rise of Christian fundamentalism in Africa in the last 30 years and you will see a direct correlation with a rise in hate and animus against same sex loving and trans people in many African countries. Watch the movie “God Loves Uganda” if you don’t believe me: the legacy and impact of missionaries on Africa is DAMNING and is getting WORSE, especially for those of us who identify as LGBTQ.
It makes me sick. This picture makes me sick. Missionaries make me sick. What they have done to our cultures and communities and traditions makes me sick. Their racism cloaked with a smile and their “good Book” makes me sick. The fact that they think that they’re “doing good” while they’re just reproducing white supremacist patriarchal colonial structures of control, domination and subjugation makes me sick. They don’t see us as full people, but as spectacles for their white gaze, as this picture makes so bitingly clear, and they don’t give a damn as long as they make their God “happy”
You have caused so much pain in my life and that of many of my friends. It hurts.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF AFRICA (or wherever this pic was taken) AND LEAVE OUR CHILDREN ALONE!!!!
And a big fuck you to all of the people doing mission “service trips” to ~*aFRicA*~ too.
I’m utterly and completely done.
LGBTQ rights supporters rejoiced on Thursday with news that homosexuality is no longer illegal in Lebanon. A court ruling abolished a case against an unna
Western onlookers have a very firm notion of the trajectory along which LGBTQ rights should advance. That trajectory places trans rights as a clear “next step,” something that can only be achieved once the groundwork has been laid by the advancement of the “L,” “G,” and perhaps “B” contingencies (representing lesbian, gay, and bisexual, respectively). But the Lebanese courts are not following that trajectory. The same ruling that decriminalized homosexuality also formally recognized gender variation and codified principles of self-identification. This nuanced view of the interplay between sexuality and gender identification doesn’t fit with the traditional (Western) “gay rights” narrative, and has resulted in Western media coverage that almost completely silences the critical role a transwoman played in achieving this landmark ruling.
Proclaiming Lebanon’s ruling as merely a “victory for gays” is not only an insult to the trans issues underpinning the ruling, but also whitewashes the Lebanese LGBTQ movement, painting it with strokes more easily digestible by Western consumers. The Lebanese case was not and is not merely a “victories for gays” – it is a nuanced and praise-worthy assessment of gender variance. While critics have commented that the ruling falls short of tangible “rights” for gays, in many ways it also far surpasses mainstream Western understandings of gender identity. And this deserves some press.
The first known successful and self-governing black community in the Americas was the town of San Lorenzo de los Negros de Cerralvo, which was established in Mexico in the 17th century by Gaspar Yanga, a leader of a slave rebellion. A former member of the royal family of Gabon, he successfully led a band of revolting slaves near Veracruz around 1570, fleeing to the difficult terrain of the…
An Iranian channel ran a story about how a certain kind of martial arts is enjoying increasing popularity among Iranian women. This means that a) Iranian women have rights, b) Iranian women can access the public sphere, c) Iranian women participate in organized, public sports, and d) an Iranian government news channel has no problem with any of this.
Faced with these facts, the Western media panicked: some news agencies resorted to the stereotype of Iranian women as veiled, militant fanatics; others opted for infantilizing portrayals of suffering women using martial arts as their only escape. Can you imagine any self-respecting Western reporter writing a story that explained, unprovoked, the popularity of karate among girls in suburban Los Angeles by citing America’s high rates of sexual assault? Additionally, few bothered to mention that recently it has been Western sports organizations that have prevented Iranian women from playing, for example in 2011 forcing the Iranian women’s soccer team to forfeit hope of reaching the Olympics because they wore sports hijabs on the field.
Narratives of weak or militant Iranian women are not just dishonest; they also fuel a political narrative whereby Islamism is equated with backwardness and the ability of women to reconcile Islamic ideals with feminist goals is entirely obfuscated. Both Western conservatives and many secular feminists often participate in this obfuscation, effectively trying to either hide Iranian women’s successes in order to demonize Iran or by ignoring the ideologies of liberation they have formulated in order to preserve the status of secular feminism as the only path to women’s liberation.
When the researchers sat down to analyze the videos, they found something (not that) surprising: girls’ feelings about pop culture and fashion are complicated. For example, girls talked about the fine line between wanting to appear ‘mature’ and attractive to boys, while at the same time expressing absolute disgust with other girls and women who dress too sexily. Elodie, a 12-year-old, says that girls at her school aspire to look like “the whole Playboy Mansion image. … It’s sick, like, it’s seriously sick!” Though she obviously doesn’t approve, she still seems to care about what boys think, she just thinks the boys her age aren’t “mature” enough to recognize girls’ efforts: “They wouldn’t notice any kind of that stuff.” Elodie is dealing with that thorny double standard that expects girls to work on being attractive and sexy to boys, but not too sexy, because if a girl is too sexy, then she’s “seriously sick!” It’s a tricky balance to strike, and so for Elodie, her feelings about what to wear are complicated.
Girls in the study also talked about totally understanding that the media markets clothes to them by using images of celebrities and sexuality. And at the same time, they embraced the trends of fashion and were enthusiastic about the creativity and self-expression fashion allowed. 11-year-old Iris, for example, says, “Ads can influence us in different ways especially us girls.” Just a moment later, she adds, “I have loads of clothes and everything,” showing us that collecting clothes is something she likes to do, even while she recognizes being influenced by advertisements. Once again, it’s complicated.
[…]But more often than not, our culture doesn’t leave a lot of room for this wishy-washiness. We want people to say what they mean and mean what they say! We yearn for consistency and stability and dependability. That’s why we love to label people as simply one thing or another. Are you liberal or conservative? Are you fat or thin? Are you a prude or a slut?
Real life isn’t like that. Usually, a person is liberal in some ways, conservative in others. A woman is pretty much never simply a naïve, angelic, prude, nor is she simply an oversexed slut. Life isn’t simple, and neither are people.
10 Things A Black Woman Writer Must Do:
1) Do not be a black woman writer.
2) If you come from an island in the Caribbean, that’s a mistake. The islands are not a proper place. People from places like the islands can’t write about being alienated, because how can you feel alienated in a place where people like to wear bikinis? Be a writer from England. Do not mention you are black.
3) You mustn’t write long sentences.
4) You mustn’t write about yourself.
5) Do not be abstract.
6) Do not write about race. Everyone will say you only write about race.
7) Write about race. If you don’t, they will point out that you haven’t written about race.
8) Do not be a black woman writer.
9) Do not be a black woman.
10) Do not be black.
Jamaica Kincaid, during a lecture given as part of Columbia University’s creative writing lecture series (via ethiopienne)
Jamaica Kincaid wrote one of my all time favourite short stories called 'At the Bottom of the River' and you should all read it because I think it’s one of the most important reflections on life, time and humanity’s capacity for meaning that I’ve ever read. It’s also one of the most insightful reflections on the existential dilemma that I’ve ever read. Also it’s beautiful. And perfect. Go read it.